Op-Ed: Receiving Compliments
As some of y’all know, I went to the Ruti sample sale at their warehouse on Saturday morning. Now, this was my first sample sale ever since they’re usually in New York and Los Angeles. My blogger boo and best friend in my head Monroe Steele wrote a great blog post all about how to shop at a sample sale and so after reading it I was prepared for the madness.
I arrived, found a few pieces to try on, secured a spot in their back room for a smidgen of privacy to dress and undress, and went from there. Now y’all know I’m not a tryer-onner when it comes to buying clothes in store in the traditional sense (my own fitting room) so THIS was really outside of my comfort zone. And there was another problem: there wasn’t a mirror where I was changing. I had to walk by almost everyone in search of a free mirror to see if the piece looked good on me. Everyone stared as I walked by in that “oooh where did she get that” way. As I walked back and forth from the mirror, the same older woman kept saying out loud, “I wish I had her body. She looks amazing in everything.” Even though she didn’t say it directly to me, overhearing that being said about me made me feel uncomfortable and awkward.
WHY WAS THAT SO WEIRD TO ME? I mean, it wasn’t a negative thing she said. I thought about it my entire drive home and even talked about it with Mama CCB. Then I realized what it was. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO RECEIVE COMPLIMENTS. You know how it’s uncomfortable for some people (including myself) to talk about themselves on job interviews and on dates? Yeah, it’s like that with receiving compliments for me as well. I really don’t like drawing attention to myself so for someone to call me out like that made me want to run for cover and hide.
But now that I’m aware of this adverse response, I’m going to try to work on it. I should take the compliment and wear it like a badge of honor, especially when it comes from another woman. Having someone compliment my appearance isn’t negative or something I should be ashamed of. It’s also a way to practice self-care. Because if you don’t love yourself, who will?
Photography: Sissy CCB