Inhale Confidence, Exhale Doubt
Happy Monday Cocoa Butter Crewe!
Last week on the blog I talked about my trip to London, including how I ended up fracturing my ankle. It’s been two weeks since my injury and although my ankle is much better (I was even able to put a sneaker on my right foot for the photos), it’s still a struggle. Not so much physically anymore but emotionally. This injury kinda messed with my confidence a bit.
Normally I’m loosey goosey when it comes to blog shoots which is how I’m able to get some of the amazing candid shots I post on here and on my Instagram. I like to have fun and move around and dance because it feels good to my soul. And my sister does a great job of capturing it all. Yesterday was different though. I found myself hesitating a lot. Afraid of moving in a way that would injure my foot again. Wanting to sit on the ground but was scared that I wouldn’t be able to get back up. Gotta hit them angles! I never thought that my confidence in front of the camera would be so shaken from a physical injury. There have been plenty of times where I’ve shot photos when I’m sick, tired, hangry, and cranky. But I pushed through. This was different. I had to really dig down deep to find the strength to keep going. The photo shoot took twice as long but I got it done.
I consider myself to be a strong person for the most part. But this is the first major injury I’ve had in my entire life and it really had me shook. I’ve never been the kind of person to sulk and not have any motivation to do anything either. But it has taken a lot of mental strength to motivate myself to get back into my groove. The first week I literally sat around and did nothing. And I was really hard on myself about it. Although that week I was supposed to still be on vacation, I felt lazy because I was home and wasn’t doing any work. I had to tell myself that I was seriously hurt and that resting to heal was perfectly okay. The blog would still be there when I was ready to return. I also think that me not being physically active also has a lot to do with my state of mind. I work out because of how it makes me feel. How I look from working out is a bonus. The gym is my stress reliever and my escape. It helps me reset. And right now I can’t do it. I’ve had to find alternatives to working out to relieve stress. I’ve been meditating more and journaling again. That’s really helping.
I wanted to write this post because I figured that talking about my mental health struggle would be helpful to someone. We shouldn’t be afraid to talk about dark times we’ve had. Major injuries are difficult to come back from, both physically and emotionally. If you’re out there struggling with your confidence – whether it be from coming back from a physical injury or an emotional one (heartbreak, loss of a loved one, etc.) – I’m here to tell you to hang in there. It gets better. And I’m here for you.